A student whom you do not know, on the recommendation of another student (whose name you do not recognize) sends, for your evaluation and commentary, a piece of writing that is almost certainly the SINGLE MOST EMBARRASSINGLY REVEALING SEXUALLY EXPLICIT paragraph you have ever read in your entire life. You should:
A. Disinfect all surfaces and change the locks immediately
B. Fix him up on a blind date with a friend
C. Change professions
D. Offer writing tips in exchange for photos of said experience
E. Give him an MFA
Along with your answer, please include a case of brainwash. I need to remove certain images from my head.